Bills vs Patriots Week 1

Final Score Bills – 24 Patriots - 25

3 Monday night games in 3 years. And 3 hard fought yet supremely heartbreaking losses. 3 losses in which the Bills weren’t even beaten by the other team but beaten by themselves. In this case, an inexcusable fumble by Leodis McKevlin, a last minute collapse by a defense that otherwise looked solid and a ramshackle offensive line at held up much better than I expected until the last 40 seconds of the game. Celino and Barnes could probably successful sue the Bills for mental and emotional damages on behalf of Bills fans everywhere at this point.

The Good

The good news is that Bills, for the first time in years, proved that they are up to the task of beating the Patriots on of the best teams of the decade and, the key to making it make into the playoffs.

The no huddle offense looks much better than it did in the preseason. This comes with game planning and I hope better play calling by Alex Van Pelt. Van Pelt, the former Bills quarterback was one of those smart players who almost always knew where to go with the ball and how to attack a defense. He wasn’t a success in the league because he lacked the physical tools to make the tough throws you need to make in the NFL. It’s hard to judge after one game but with Van Pelt calling the plays the offense looks serviceable.

The pass rush looks to be much improved. They were able to get pressure on Brady (the key to beating that supermodel fucker) is to hit him early and often. Sadly, when the Bills needed a drive killing sack in the final minutes of the fourth quarter, they couldn’t come up with it.

The Bad

Special Teams, the one thing the Bills have been constantly good at for years, looked terrible. Two fumbles on kickoff returned, (one of which almost certainly lost the game for the Bills) poor return coverage and below average punting.

Can the Bills please, please, please not play their cornerbacks 10 yards off the receivers? Especially when all Brady wants and needs to do to win is toss 8 yard hook and slant routes to drive down the field and win?

The Bills receivers had a number of drops, most of which seemed to come on 3rd downs. Convert those downs and the game could have ended very differently

The Patriot Fans

I really hate Patriot fans. A lot of them are fair weather fans that probably couldn’t tell you who played quarterback for the Patriots before Bledsoe. Early in the first quarter when the Bills were up 7-0 the ESPN camera panned over the stands and every fan had a sourpuss face like they were down 21-0 and the schoolyard bully just stole their bag of gummy worms. Get over it you pussies. God I wish the Bills had won that game. The Bills fans would have appreciated the win 10 times as much.

The Announcers

I’m thinking of becoming an ESPN announcer and I’ve been practicing my chatter. Tell me what you think:

Me - “Oh my GOD Tom Brady is a sexy slice of man-beef. Just looking at him sets my loins aquiver. Oh man, did you see him throw a 4 yard pass, I think my nipples are getting hard. I don’t know about you Ron but after this game I plan on hiding in the bushes behind Tom Brady’s house and touching myself”

Ron – “I’ll make you a deal, why don’t with both go hide behind the bushes. We can both wear Tom Brady jerseys and cup each others balls”

Me – “ I like your thinking”